Dear younger self,
You’ll cry each time you cross the Arizona border. It’s a mixture of grief, longing, excitement, & uncertainty. Despite not growing up in your birth place, knowing your family, or remembering any parts of your time here—each moment here feels like home. You find home in the way the wind whispers through canyon walls and the way the sun shines on the saguaros and warms your skin.
Coming back, over and over again, despite how it hurts—you’re going to grow so much. One day you’re going to see your mom and it won’t be like seeing a stranger and awkward like it was when you were 21. You’ve always wanted this; it’s not what you were expecting—I won't sugar coat it, but conventional was never your style, anyway.
There will be a day where you stop wishing to be like everyone else and you grow to accept and appreciate the life you’ve created for yourself. You’ve done it alone, but you’re standing at the edge of something beautiful.
Arizona, September 2020, Colorplus 200
